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Sometimes
you just wish the dudes and dolls on these supposedly upmarket
shows would have more ingrained style. I was watching Star
One's Special Squad where a young college-going pervert
involved in a MMS scandal (hmmmm…sounds familiar!)
was being grilled by members of the special squad.
"Ken
I gow now?" he gow…I mean growled finally.
Hey guys, get a life before a laugh gets you. But honestly,
I liked watching this episode of SS if for no other
reason then to see one of the young girls on the Squad making
her own video clipping to trap the perverted dude. "Do
you think it's okay to indulge in something you want to
prevent?" she wanted to know.
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Poor
girl! She sounded like one of those politicians on NDTV India's
Public Platform who doesn't want to shout down his colleagues.
But he has no choice. It's the survival of the loudest on these
current affairs talk shows.
This week they banged their hands about the rapidly deteriorating
law and order situation in Bihar. Poor Swami Agnivesh, he couldn't
shout loud enough. Everyone kind of withdrew from the race to
accommodate his voice. Alas no one on NDTV India's Humlog got
that lucky. While discussing caste politics in Bihar everyone
shouted so hard it became hard to tell who was actually on the
right side of the discussion.
*****
Outrageously wrong is the correspondent who's assigned the task
of reviewing films on Cine Aaj Tak. First of all, I think
it's criminally unethical to run down films on the day of their
release before they get a chance to make their presence felt in
theatres, more so when the man standing in judgment has apparently
not seen the film, and is just voicing opinions picked up from
reviews in the print medium.
That's right! The guy who reviewed Insan on Aaj Tak was
quoting words lines and opinions from the review in the Mumbai
tabloid Mid-Day.
If this is what being a tez channel is all about then let's slow
down a bit and talk about what we have done to TV journalism in
the name of topicality.
*****
The
talent hunt continues. I saw Sahara One's Mr & Mrs Bollywood
on Sunday where Sajid Khan and Mandira Bedi were hosts to
another bevy of eager faces. Khan teased the contestants mercilessly,
flirted with the girls and heckled the boys. One contestant Bhavna
Pani was asked what her name meant.
"Emotional
water," came the prompt poker-faced reply. Incidentally Ms
Pani must be joking about being a Bollywood hopeful. She has already
appeared in a full-fledged role in a film called Dil Vil Pyar
Vyar. If she thought no one would recognize her then I'm afraid
she had better start planning another way to re-enter Bollywood.
*****
While
Archana Puransingh busies herself doing funny faces on Mere
Samne Wali Khidki her husband Parmeet Sethi has now joined
the cast of Astitva where he locks horns with Dr Simran.
This week she accused the sly doctor of flirting with all the
nurses in the hospital and of wasting her time by talking into
the telephone during a meeting. Sethi narrowed his eyes and smirked
so hard, I thought my picture tube wouldn't be able to take his
attitude.
*****
Luckily
the belly of the telly can digest anything these days….even
two Rajat Kapoors at the price of one. ….actually three!
On Sony's CID, Kapoor (who took a sabbatical from TV to
direct Raghu Romeo) played an industrialist who invents
two clones of his own to run the business empire.
Hum
Aapke Hain Corn…er Clone….er, whatever! At least
we get to see a semblance of ingenuity in these old shows. The
newer serials either try to be hip or traditional. Either way
they are weighed down by self-importance. Sahara's Kamini Damini
has quickly become fatigued. Ma-in-law Hema Malini snatched
away a bowl of papaya from her pregnant bahu's hand.
"Don't
you know it's not right to eat this fruit in your condition…and
why are you wearing high heels?"
The Bahu looked like she could've burst a blood vessel then and
there. Maybe Hema should stop putting her 'fruit' in her mouth.
*****
There's
a strange new show on CNBC called Good Life where psychological
issues are taken up through scenes from films. On Wednesday a
physiotherapist was shown a clipping from the film Aap Ki Kasam
where Rajesh Khanna was shown asking his father-in-law for
his wife to return to him.
Said
the knowledgeable interviewer. "To give you a background
to the scene...Rajesh Khanna suspected Mumtaz of having an affair
with a colleague of hers."
Not true! The other man in Aap Ki Kasam was the couple's
neighbour.
*****
A
potentially promising discussion on Sab TV's Kuch Diiil Se
was turned sour by anchor Smriti Irani's constant interruptions.
The subject was the anti-Sikh riots of 1984. The subject: a casualty
of the riots named Darshan Kaur. She managed to say she remembered
the politician HKL Bhagat supervising the carnage in 1984.
Our
Saas jo kabhi bahu thi Tulsi stood there in a flaming-orange saree
looking as if she had arrived for a wedding rather than a tragic
"yaadon ki baraat".
Hema
Malini's pic by Vicky Ahuja
(The
views expressed here are those of the author and indiantelevision.com
need not necessarily subscribe to the same)
Blood
and tears…ooh, what a deadly combination! I look for the serials
that offer a dry thrill. That's why Zee's Kareena Kareena seems
so welcome. No one cries in this one. No one has the time. Everyone
is busy masquerading. It's like one of Shakespeare's comedies without
that whirling sense of wonderment that makes Shakespeare such a
dizzyingly delightful experience.
