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The
escape artist: - the ad industry's tribute to Houdini,
the great American magician, most famous for his
escape acts. Over the years the industry has cultivated
these supremely gifted individuals. People who manage
to get out of impossible and potentially embarrassing
situations with their rear ends unscathed and the
slope of their career graphs unaltered. Using the
mere mortals around them as cushions, barricades
or plain fodder as the case might be.
"Now
is the time for all those who are in positions of
power to make their absence felt." The hushed
Chinese accent, the telling words of wisdom, the
quick delivery of the teacup and Chai-La (the mystical
Chinese canteen boy) ducked into the folds of one
of the leaflets that were lying on the table.
The
warm brew refreshed Ram Shankar (the account executive)
and breathed life into his sagging resolve. The
client Mr Bose had been at it, criticizing him and
his lack of planning on the account that had led
to the delay of several jobs. Though there were
no deadlines that had actually been missed, Mr Bose
loved it when he could make a point at the expense
of the agency.
"You
see there is absolutely no quality control in the
agency business. You fellows come and go as you
please, and the client is left high and dry. We
have no clue as to when you will be delivering the
jobs, if at all you do intend delivering. And more
importantly, are the jobs happening as per our briefs.
Most of the times we get the stuff so late that
it is no use trying to attempt changes even though
the work is way off strategy."
Vikas
(Ram's boss) was acting like a human 'servicing
sponge', soaking in all the allegations that were
being thrown the agencies' way. When Mr Bose completed
his diatribe, Vikas stood up to his full height.
And just as Ram was about to feel pleased about
his boss literally 'standing' up for him... he excused
himself and walked out of the room.
"Need
to urgently call up the Asia Pacific office and
give the chairman an update on your account,"
said Vikas in his most confidently cherubic tone.
Mr Bose was sufficiently impressed and waved him
away, feeling a deep inner sense of pride that multinational
networks were tracking his account. Ram was simply
amazed at how Vikas could still pull that one off,
especially considering that their agency had no
foreign tie-ups at all.
Half
an hour later Vikas returned to the room. Ram Shankar
was at his wits end in terms of seeing the brighter
side of things. Put mildly, the morale of an account
executive would have been higher getting into a
finance meeting with no clue on status.
Mr
Bose by then had expended most of his energies in
Ram's direction. And Vikas as usual had picked the
right time to enter the room again.
"Don't
worry Mr Bose, whatever it is I will be on top of
it. Though my role is larger and more strategic,
you wont have any operational problems on the account
hereafter. I will personally look into it,"
Vikas said with sufficient aplomb to leave Bose
beaming from ear to ear 'like a virgin who had been
touched for the very first time' (for all my musically
inclined friends who had commented on the lack of
tuneful analogies).
Ram
was silently fuming as they made their way back
to the office in Vikas's car.
"You
know chief, it's all about handling the issues as
they come up. One has to equip and consciously train
oneself so that stressful situations can be overcome.
Because at the end of the day that's what servicing
is all about." Vikas paused to briefly adjust
his tie in the rear view mirror. Ram resisted the
urge to offer tightening the noose around Vikas's
neck.
Then
the ridiculous chimes of Vikas's cell phone ringing
interrupted his quiet rage. The favored tune for
the month was the mating calls of humpback whales
(Vikas actually used to buy such tunes… albeit
to claim it as conveyance later).
"Yes
Sir!" the awakened sharpness in Vikas's tone
clearly told Ram that it was the President of the
agency on the line.
"Yes sir, we are all ready to make the presentation,
in fact my team should de-brief you anytime soon
on exact status. We should also get a full presentation
done by media; yes they are all in the know. I have
sent them all long emails on the same. Have been
out chasing other leads so haven't met them face
to face but in these advanced times people should
be reading their mails. After all aren't we a next
generation agency?"
Ram
marveled at the sheer craft of his boss. He had
absolved himself of all responsibility while making
it apparent that he had done enough work on the
task. Only one thing was missing.
"No sir I wont be able to make it. I have this
appointment with the M.D. of whoflungdung? Yeah
it's the new Chinese fast food chain. Though if
you need me there I can be in office, but you know
how many agencies are in the fray for this account…"
The
practiced pause.
"Ok
then I will see you the day after…. yeah I
need to do that meeting as well… such is work,
you will understand if my cell is switched off most
of the time, you know how touchy these people get
when phones ring."
Vikas
hung up the phone with a triumphant smile that bordered
on pure evil. He calmly switched off the phone and
then turned to Ram.
"You
better get into the conference room quickly, boss
wants to meet the entire team."
The
smile nearly exploded off the sides of his mouth
but with admirable restraint he managed to keep
it within the confines of his face. After Ram got
out, Vikas's car zipped into the horizon of happiness
and contentment.
Ram
trudged up the stairs and opened the conference
room door to be greeted with an army of utterly
bewildered faces, all engaged in animated conversation.
"What's
this new account that we are supposed to be working
on?"
"Don't
really know but I believe there was a long email
sent…"
"Yeah
saw that but never read it. It was much too long."
As
the confused murmur continued, Ram took his place
on one of the 'electric' chairs and buried his head
on the table.
"Old
Chinese Saying - when inevitable doom approaches
it is better to have warm brew in belly" the
whispered words of wisdom, the tea cup materializing
in front of Ram and Chai-La, the mystical Chinese
canteen boy vanished into the horizon of happiness
and contentment with Vikas's car.
 After
stints at Lowe, Mudra and Everest, the author is
now with Triton as Associate Vice President Brand
Services. In addition to that, he is also patron
saint of Juhu Beach United - a movement that celebrates
obesity and the unfit 'out of breath' media professional
of today. To join up contact vinaykanchan@hotmail.com
(The
views expressed here are those of the author and
indiantelevision.com need not necessarily subscribe
to the same)
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