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Upadhyay is just one of the many TV stars who abandoned the medium that made them, in favour of greener pastures. Now of course the grass seems greener on the smaller screen. But Upadhyay or for that matter his colleague Bedi (who played a closet gay in Mahesh Dattani’s first feature film Mango Souffle) would find it hard to make themselves noticed.

I must thank Shekhar Suman for introducing me to the starlet who plays a role in Rajiv Rai’s new film. The girl could barely speak Hindi on Movers & Shakers. But that hardly made a difference, since the host does most of the talking on his show. Shekhar treated the somewhat nervous girl to his brand of risqué humour. She treated him to her love story, and even invited her husband to join her.

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The story, if you must know, had to do with a burnt chocolate cake which the starlet baked for her wedding with her lover-boy. And though it got burnt, lover-boy insisted on serving it to the wedding guests.

We got quite a ‘cake’ listening to this story. And while we are on stories about who’s who on the Page 3 circuit there was veejay Anusha on MTV interviewing guests at a party on a very critical question: How would they pick up a lady? The answers ranged from, "I don’t need to pick them up” (photographer Ashok Salian) to “First I make eye contact, that’s very important” (Upen Patel)…. Cut to the veejay fluttering her eye lashes at Patel just to show us what she can do if given half a chance.

The flirty party circuit that’s captured on camera at these dos have become despicable ‘don'ts’ for the home viewing medium. So brainless and breathy are the little chats with these high-on-life (and other things) guests that we finally know why television is called the ‘idiot’ box and the ‘boob’ tube.

Why not leave the revelers alone? Why do camera crews have to trail them into their den of vices? It isn’t as if viewers need to KNOW what the rich-and-infamous do when they let their hair down!

Just tune in to Ekta Kapoor’s soaps, you’ll know. Most of the men are having extra-marital flings. Even poor Nishchay in the worth-a-watch Kehna Hai Kuch Mujhko has fallen prey.

And now we can only pray for him, as his strong-willed wife Rewa has decided to leave him. Nishchay sobs like a baby to his best friend who consoles him. “Be a man. Take a hold of yourself.” Don’t look for a sleazy pun in that.

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Ironically minutes after I saw this rather touching scene in the soap, I also saw Aamir Khan (facing a domestic crisis similar to Nishchay) twirling his moustache at the Aaj Tak camera and informing us that we, the privileged junta, will be hearing and seeing a lot of him, now that his new film is ready for release.

Such blatant confession of how the media is used by stars was refreshing… or was it simply depressing? When you scratch my back and I scratch yours, the noise created is very pleasant.

Noisy yet entertaining is how I’d describe Sajid Khan on NDTV India’s Muqabla in debate on the quality of humour on stage and camera. Sajid’s opponent on the dias was a bitter satirical poet who mocked ad jingles and tv anchors for their poor humour. Sajid had his revenge. “If these guys are so good how come we’ve never seen a single hasya kavi on any TV show?”

Ouch. But let me say one thing in the hasya kavi’s defense. Not being on television is certainly not a measure of failure. On the other hand being on Rendezvous with Simi Garewal is certainly a measure of success. And who more successful than Sahara chief Subrato Roy with his gracious wife? They recalled their romantic days of struggle and hardship with a nostalgia that comes easily to those who’ve got it all now, and can afford to be indulgent about their past.

But the couple seemed totally comfortable with each other. They even sang lines of 'Tere mere sapne ab ek rang hain' together.

Quite an evening!