He's the man Amitabh Bachchan speaks exclusively to, and the one who has the ear of many veteran television personalities. Subhash K Jha, whose acerbic commentary on Bollywood has enthralled readers for years, will now feature a regular column on indiantelevision.com. Jha will cast his critical eye on the small screen, appreciating the good, criticising the bad and castigating the ugly... Stay tuned for a regular review of programming that peppers the small screen in India:
Some have all the luck!!
(Posted on 28 May 2004)

There are two kinds of soaps on air. The ones that are by Ekta Kapoor, and the ones that are not. And the ones that are, easily get the major share of the TRP cake. Star’s Kahaani Ghar Ghar Kii and its volatile image makeover easily scores over the more laid back shimmering shenanigans of Sony’s newly introduced Ye Meri Life Hai (YMLH). In the latter, there’s a touch of desperation in the way every episode tries to pack events into the goings-on, as though time was running out on the characters, as much as they (the characters) were running out of energy.


Toothy grin: Way to a girls heart?

Now that the protagonist Pooja (Shama Sikandar) in YMLH is attending the posh institute, she better remember her father’s warning loud and call. "No calls from boys!" Because there is a romance brewing between middleclass Pooja and the campus dude who looks like a poor man’s Sammir Dattani.

Uuf kya jaadoo mohabbat hai! The campus dude in YMLH seems to be constantly modelling for a toothpaste… which one, we don’t know. Maybe he’s had a brush with the tooth, and nothing but?

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Raw Deal: Remember Vidya Sinha, the actress who lit up so many of Basu Chatterjee’s romantic comedies like Rajnigandha, Chotisi Baat and Jeena Yahan? She has re-designed herself as a teevee actress. But the material offered to her on television makes you wonder if she deserves such a raw deal.

Sinha plays Alok Nath’s wife in the ‘Muslim Social’ Hawayen on Doordarshan’s national channel. The last decent muslim social we had on television was Sony’s Henna. (Interestingly, the slot has been taken up Hindu mythological Devi on Friday nights... but that’s another story). If Henna overstayed its welcome, Hawayen doesn’t even begin to warrant a welcome. Tackily produced and clumsily packaged it has some gifted Hindu actors like Alok Nath, Vineeta Malik (who’s Alok’s real-life sister) and Vidya Sinha playing Muslim characters.

That, believe me, is the most interesting part of the soap. The plot about a monstrously chaotic marital alliance between two families is cluttured with anomalies. Last week Sinha marched into her dead daughter’s inlaws’ place with a box of sweets claiming in front of her daughter’s killers, "I want you to share my joy because we’ve discovered who my daughters’ killers are."

Who killed Doordarshan?: Yeah. But who killed Doordarshan? Not a single soap or sitcom seems to stimulate viewers enough to abandon their daily dose of satellite fix. The calibre of content and the quality of transmission are so abysmal as to make us wonder what could prompt a man of Gulzar’s calibre to film the short of stories of Premchand (to be telecast shortly) for the national channel.

Who watches Doordarshan? That's the question Doordarshan should be asking in the wake of the the IIFA awards which were telecast simultaneously with Sony Entertainment on Sunday night. No one had the patience to sit through the glamorous event on national television.

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The IIFA Affair: Sony it was for IIFA’s grand affair where we saw the entire Bollywood fraternity hobnob in hefty motions of glamour quotients. My only problem was with the sheer redundancy factor. By the time the IIFA awards came along I had seen Karan Johar pick up all the awards for Kal Ho Na Ho. I had seen Rakesh Roshan trying to be jokey at earlier functions. On this occasion when he was called to give away an award he said, "This means I won’t get an award (grin grin chuckle chuckle)."

It meant nothing of the sort. Everyone did a homage. Preity Zinta’s Madhubala act was fairly seductive. Dressed in a black sari she swayed sensuously on stage. Zinta surprised me by revealing that she had never worn a sari before. When I pointed out that her movements did not replicate Madhubala’s she explained, "That’s because Madhubala’s movements were all about closeups - eyes, lips, etc. You can’t do closeups on stage where you’re being watched by thousands."

Fair enough. Zinta is among the few Bollywood denizens, who takes pains over her stage performances. Maybe this time she had more reason to be happy than the others. Forgetting her demure sari-look, Preity let out a whoop of joy when she went on stage to get her best-actress award. Attagirl!

So did Abhishek Bachchan when he announced his mother's name for the best supporting-actress award. The whoop of joy rang across the auditorium. What I noticed that evening was the profusion of filial bonds... Abhishek and Jaya Bachchan, Karan and his father Yash Johar, Feroz Khan and son Fardeen… all reaching out to one another across that wonderful international platform.

But where was the chutzpah? The anchors Rahul Khanna and Celina Jaitley/Mahima Chowdhary were predictably bland. Every announcement was laced with one or the other exclamation, making us wonder what happened to the era of understatement.

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Queen Bee smiling pretty?: Ekta Kapoor — again! We just can’t get away from her — is sizzling with Star’s Kahiin To Hoga. I think the serial’s clout–factor is remarkable. The actors who play Kashish, Sujal and Rishi are outstanding. Who says TV doesn’t nurture and project exceptional acting talent?

Also, I’d like to point out that some of the plotting patterns in Kahiin To Hoga are quite astounding. For instance, the widowed Kashish and her sister are both pregnant… one fatherless by fate, the other by default. Original and absorbing Kahiin To Hoga is worth waiting up for at 11 pm.

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Mixed bag of emotions: Saw two star-interviews on NDTV’s English and Hindi channels on Thursday night. Rani Mukherjee on NDTV India was warm and accessible, telling us why she needed to become an actress so that her ailing dad won’t have to work. (Er, what about the brother?)

Konkona Sen-Sharma (she insisted on the Sharma) and her director Madhur Bhandarkar were on NDTV to promote their film Page 3. During the conversation Konkona revealed her Hindi was very bad. So what’s she doing in a Hindi-language film? Or on a desi channel promoting a Hindi film?

(The views expressed here are those of the author and indiantelevision.com need not necessarily subscribe to the same)

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