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Focus
group - a research tool, largely inspired by the
methodology used to resolve the Middle East crises…
with the same success rate.
How: A collection
of people, sharing little more than the sofa in
common are packed together in a windowless room
in a manner resembling Auschwitz. They are then
encouraged to reveal their innermost motivations,
desires and secrets in front of complete strangers.
Just at the height of the pleasantries, about the
time when one of the respondents is ready to let
fly a left hook at her neighbour who has been contradicting
everything she has been saying, a problem is introduced
and the group is urged to arrive at a solution through
consensus.
"There
ees nothing here that weel be spoken that you weel
not already know," Chai-La, the Chinese canteen
boy, awoke Ram from his nap, as he lay down the
tea tray and then vanished into the wall."
Vikas
(Ram's boss), PP (the creative director), Mr Bose
(the client) and Ram all found themselves in the
agency AV room where they were watching some research
groups happening in the adjoining conference room.
It wasn't all that bad with the AC and the CCTV.
It was much like watching one of those saans
-bahu soaps with almost the same star cast but
minus the commercial breaks.
The
purpose of the research was to determine which of
a possible three new product concepts would go down
the best with consumers. Considering all the concepts
had to do with 'anti-itching' creams, it would be
fair to say that everything was starting from scratch.
The
groups comprised housewives - of the chip devouring
and coffee guzzling variety - who also happened
to live in the vicinity of the office. As usual,
the groups were required in double quick time. The
concepts were to be developed and the groups both
organised and conducted in two days. Vikas had refused
to conduct the groups. "Can you imagine the
women concentrating on anti-rash creams, if I were
conducting the groups. Come on. One look at me and
they would be getting itches of a different kind."
So
the task of conducting the groups fell on a young
trainee girl called Rashmi. Vikas' brief to her
was, "Just go ahead and bond big time with
those babes, get under their skin, know their every
pore, learn what they want, lust and must have…
you get the picture?"
All
that seemed more than a month ago (actually only
12 earth hours ago but the advertising industry
as always follows different timelines). The first
sip of Chai-La's 'awaken your senses and think about
getting a better job' brew forced open Ram's eyes
and he began to take note of what was transpiring
in the room. The discussion was, as they say in
research parlance, just warming up.
"I
have never ever used skin rash creams in my life…
neither does anyone in my family," said Mrs
Gupta leaving all the other respondents with as
much dignity as a film producer with no 'attitude'.
"What
do you mean by that, Mrs Gupta? I see Bittu scratching
his @#$ all the time when he comes down to play,
are you implying we aren't clean?" retorted
a livid Mrs Khanna.
"And
your husband has filthy habits…" Mrs Bannerji
quipped in.
"Hey
don't get personal. I can also tell horrible tales
of your husband," Mrs Gupta was now leaning
forward, most bits of her samosa were dropping onto
the table as she was speaking (oh come on! Guys
do the same thing).
As
usual everything that the consumer says in such
forums attracts more interest than Madonna paying
'lip service' to Britney Spears (yeah I know most
men will vehemently disagree on that one).
Vikas began interpreting the fish market for the
benefit of the other mere mortals. "This category
brings itself home through the back door. It functions
on the 'quasi latent denial and affirmation syndrome'.
The QLDAS model. That's a new theory developed by
our worldwide planning team. I will send you a copy
of that Mr Bose."
PP's tolerance threshold was breached. As was usually
symbolic of this 'servicing gibberish' kind of moment,
his moustache twirl routine began to pick up.
"Tu
kya bol raha hain? They are just fighting, don't
try and interpret everything for the sake of it.
Tu to phatte maar ke ghar jayega… who
do you think will be left with the donkey work?"
"Relax PP," said Mr Bose, "What you
are seeing is the passion that they have for our
brand. That passion is making them fight with each
other. Friends are turning into enemies."
"But Mr Bose, aren't we reading a bit too much
into things?" Ram weakly interjected.
Vikas stared at him with the ferocity of a mother
crocodile telling her young ones to scoot back into
the nest when there are predators around. "You
have to read between the lines, chief. This is called
interpretation. You still have to learn these things."
PP nodded a 'you were right but your boss is an
anal aperture' kind of nod in Ram's direction. Bose
craned his neck forward, "Shhhh… they
are revealing the concepts."
"Hey
by the way PP don't you think Mrs Gupta was a rash
decision her husband made?" Vikas chirped.
PP waited a second for the effect of the 'servicing
guy's pun' to pass and continued watching.
Back
to Mrs Gupta. "All
these ideas you are showing me are okay but I would
want a skin cream that has other purposes as well.
Say if it was also a fairness cream... you know
like a double purpose cream. By the way, I am naturally
fair and have never used any cosmetics…"
Mrs Mehta quietly asked, "But Mrs Gupta you
might be using one cream for one end and the same
cream for the other end of your body…"
Mrs Khanna jumped in with the speed of an agency
dispersing after Friday lunch, "Never mind
Mrs Mehta, in Mrs Gupta's case there is no difference
between both ends."
The
other women in the group laughed and instantly bonded
to become lifelong friends who would go on to share
their love letters from yesteryears and milk on
days when the supply system failed. Mrs Gupta resolved
to join hands with all the enemies of the other
women in the group, in alphabetical order.
Back
to the control centre.
"Should we consider what they are saying?
I mean about the dual cream? There might be a huge
opportunity here," Mr Bose was already seeing
a case study in the making.
"What are you saying Debashish?" PP always
skipped the Mr Bose bit, especially at extra-stressful
times when the therapeutic value of the moustache
twirling also was diminishing exponentially. "Isn't
there something called common sense? Don't we have
the knowledge and expertise between us to know what
would be idiotic to get into?"
"But
PP, as Mr Bose was saying there might be a huge
opportunity," Vikas piped in, not surprisingly
from the clients side.
"I
take back what I said about knowledge and expertise,"
PP said and started the more grotesque ritual of
biting his moustache.
"Come
on PP, two concepts on this idea for the next group,"
Mr Bose was not willing to give up on his chance
at marketing glory.
"Don't
worry Mr Bose, PP will do it," Vikas volunteered.
PP shot back the kind of look your finance chief
gives you when he has paid out an advance and you
tactfully tell him later (obviously) that getting
the estimate approved slipped your mind.
"The
most dangerous combination of words in the universe
ees F G and D put together. All capitals only,"
Chai-La magically appeared with some sandwiches,
whispered the gospel into Ram's ears and then flew
out through the ceiling.
"Mrs
Khanna you better give me back that bottle of perfume
I bought you from USA. Its only for people with
standard," Mrs Gupta was now cutting her losses.
"USA?
You mean from the Ulhasnagar Sindhi's Association?"
Mrs Khanna (the score in case you were keeping track
2-0 to Mrs Khanna).
"And
what about the dinner set you borrowed from me when
you had some guests Mrs Gupta? Do you intend giving
it back?"
"You
also have my pearl necklace which you took for your
cousin's wedding Mrs Bannerji," Mrs Mehta did
not want to be left behind as far as any trading
went, living up to the 'Mehta' name.
The
next few minutes were pure cacophony. Rashmi was
trying her best to control the group. But it was
almost like trying to prevent the typical Indian
middle order batting collapse (though not as bad).
"I'm
leaving. And I don't want to speak to any of you
again," Mrs Gupta made her last stand.
"What
makes you think only you can leave? We are leaving
before you," Mrs Mehta stormed out with her
'kitty party united'.
Soon
the room was deserted, and there was nothing to
see bar empty coffee cups and half-eaten morsels
of snacks that had been spat out during the debate.
At such times you quickly turn off the CCTV to avoid
spoiling your weekend.
"Maybe it was such a touchy topic that they
never really came out. They had such a strong defense
built around them that they refused discussing anything
close to the category. There is great learning here,"
Vikas salvaged the entire group (at least in the
client's eyes) with that superb play.
"Yeah!
Very interesting. Maybe we also need to look at
a few new concepts that might overcome their defense,"
Mr Bose's remark caused PP to nearly yank off his
trademark moustache.
"What nonsense. I'm not changing anything.
You can get anybody to speak to me if you like.
You can move the account. But I'm not changing anything.
And that's final," PP stormed out of the room.
"Don't worry Mr Bose you will have the new
concepts by tomorrow evening," said Vikas soothing
Mr Boses' jangling nerves.
Vikas scribbled on Ram's pad.
Brief PP now. Write a stinker to him if he
refuses to do it. But you better solve this mess.
Ram was left reading his death sentence as the
AV room emptied out.
He
looked up to see a teacup appear before him.
"Never research that which has already been
searched… the answers are obvious but the cobwebs
in our mind are not. You prefer the tea in a red
cup or a blue cup?" Chai-La whispered and disintegrated
into biscuit crumbs.
Ram
knew where to find the missing Matrix DVD.
 Vinay
Kanchan - currently client services director with
Everest Integrated Communications Limited. He started
his career in Lintas (now Lowe). Kanchan is also
a soccer freak and organises soccer games for like-minded
members of the media fraternity residing in Mumbai's
suburbs. He can be contacted at vinaykanchan@hotmail.com.
(The
views expressed here are those of the author and
indiantelevision.com need not necessarily subscribe
to the same)
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