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Job-definition
- people in the corporate world, especially those
at relatively senior levels are never really certain
where the scope of their job ends (the infamous 'thin
red line'). This insecurity leads to bosses increasingly
interfering with the work of their subordinates, leading
to a complete duplication of effort, which if viewed
with an opportunistic eye can give rise to some quite
interesting consequences.
(Case in point- I have been only able to complete
this column, because my boss is still ticking off
items on my joblist)
"Man,
she really gets on my nerves," said Neha, the
exasperated account executive as she collapsed on
a chair next to Ram. Ram was right in the middle of
pretending to be busy and so he found the intrusion
pleasantly welcoming. Besides he had always wanted
to speak to Neha but had never sighted an opening
thus far.
"Who
does?" asked Ram, trying to sound casually nonchalant,
while fervently hoping that Neha would be oblivious
that his heart had just done a triple summersault
and landed back in his chest cavity, albeit beating
a touch faster. He needed tea badly.
"The
life of a person with an intrusive boss is unquestionably
something that is an irrevocable loss," the hushed
Chinese accent, the express delivery of the teacup
and Chai-La, the mystical canteen boy, had disintegrated
into a series of regrets.
Neha
was so self-absorbed that she failed to notice how
the teacup had magically appeared in Ram's hands;
she felt a slight turbulence in the air but cursorily
attributed it to her charged personality. She returned
to Ram's previous question.
"My boss Sunetra, she just has been on my case
every day this week"
"Why?
Is she a lawyer?" questioned Ram, through sheer
force of habit.
"What?"
asked Neha in a manner that seemed to cue the interaction
would be short lived.
"You
know, case and all that," replied Ram, tentatively,
not knowing if the explanation was warranted.
Neha
burst into a slight giggle that instantly lifted Ram's
spirits.
"Oh,
I needed that," she said. "Why don't we
go down for some coffee?"
Ram
hated coffee, especially at those 'café's'.
But opportunity never knocks twice.
In
ten minutes they were sitting at the café across
the street.
"She
questions me on every little thing, she wants to be
involved in every small detail, and half the time
she ends up doing the job herself. I think she even
wants to control when I go to the rest room, this
is driving me nuts?"
"Oh!
she has no concept of the 'thin red line'?"
"What
was that?"
"Never
mind, just something that divides what your boss should
do from what you should; it probably is a fictional
concept today. Anyway go on."
"What's
there to go on, that's my sad story. How does your
boss treat you?"
In
all this time, Ram had never felt any fondness for
Vikas, but just then Vikas seemed a great boss to
have. Before Ram could suppress it, his chest inflated
with pride.
"Well,
he doesn't really care. He lets me do my own thing.
So much so that sometimes I wish he interfered a little
more. I have complete freedom and ownership for all
my actions." Ram answered, realizing even as
he mouthed those words that he was endowing Vikas
with a rare version of corporate divinity.
"He sounds so cool, you work with Vikas right?
He is such a rock star."
"Well
I wouldn't go that far, even that style of working
can lead to heartaches sometimes," then wanting
to get the topic off Vikas he asked," so how
do you handle Sunetra?", reflecting on the spot
of jealousy that had gone through his system when
Neha's eyes sparkled as she had spoken of Vikas.
"I
really can't" said Neha touching Ram's arm, sending
tiny freckles of electricity up his spine. "Can
you advise me?"
"Hmm,"
began Ram, touching his chin tenderly, hoping his
mannerisms were causing an escalation in his perceived
intelligence levels. "Why don't you look at the
situation optimistically? You are getting your jobs
done anyway. Just flow with the tide and don't take
any stress and every day at office can be like a paid
holiday. She ends up doing all the work, doesn't she?"
Neha
looked at Ram in the manner that a stunned audience
would have if Hitler had ever said during one of his
effusive diatribes that the Jews were cool.
"You have no idea what it is like to work under
her. What are you saying?" she began as tears
started to roll.
Ram held her hand and said in his most confident tone,
"Just try it Neha, what have you got to lose?"
The
next day Ram kept his ears open as he heard what was
happening in the adjacent cubicles, where Sunetra
and Neha used to have their meetings.
Even
across the fortifications of his own cubicle he could
sense that Sunetra was not one you could share a joke
with. The words 'seriously somber' sprang to mind.
"Have
you checked with the studio on the status of the artworks?"
"No,
I was doing other things."
"Ha,
never mind I have done that already and they will
be ready by seven."
"What
about the quotes on the film?"
"I
went to the films department but they were away at
a shoot."
"But
I called them; they all have mobiles, don't they?
And the quotes should be in tomorrow. What about the
research boards for the focus groups?"
Ram
could almost picture Neha stretching out like a cat,
suppressing a slight yawn, and languidly running her
fingers through her hair.
"I
tried telling PP, but you know he has issues talking
to juniors, he is so hierarchy conscious. I think
it will be best if you brief him."
"Yes
I will, I will ensure he delivers, how dare he delay
work," roared Sunetra and muttered some utterly
unladylike things about PP.
"And
Sunetra since you will have all the deadlines clear
in your mind, could you also please mail the daily
status to client?"
"Yes,
once I'm done with PP, the artworks plus the quotes,
and I have made all the concerned peoples lives miserable,
I will do that," said Sunetra storming off accompanied
by mayhem and a gloomy looking cloud that always seemed
to lurk above her.
Neha
popped her head over the cubicle, her face radiating
happiness.
"This
is great. I'm glad we had that conversation yesterday.
I have absolutely nothing to do; she is doing all
my work. I'm actually changing my ring tone to 'Money
for nothing'"
Ram's expression was a heroic effort to conceal his
disappointment, as he was going to come up with that
very same wisecrack. He felt robbed of his moment
of glory.
"So
what do you intend doing for the rest of the day?"
"I
don't know, I had the whole morning pretty much to
myself and so I went and chatted with Vikas, asked
him about the 'thin red line' and all that. He replied
that it was not lines but rather curves that held
his interest. He is such a charmer; we are going out
for lunch today. In fact we might even have plans
for the evening."
Ram
made a note in his mental black book of things that
he despised about Vikas. The black book was getting
to be a rather copious volume.
The
next three days seemed to fly by and he did not see
much of Neha at all.
On
Friday Vikas called him to his room.
"Chief,:"
he started and then paused to adjust his tie in his
reflection in Ram's glasses, "You will need to
help out Neha on her accounts as well for a while,
the poor girl is really buried in loads of work and
her boss Sunetra tells me that she herself needs to
do lots of operations, so they clearly need help.
Obviously nothing suffers on our side, even if I am
lending you to that group. I don't want to be attending
any client calls about delays. I hate being bothered
with such things."
Ram
thought about defending his case but with the speed
of the Indian batting lineup collapsing, he saw the
irony of the whole thing and gave it up.
"I'm
out for a long lunch now," said Vikas and sauntered
out. Ram briefly glimpsed Neha accost Vikas near the
elevator and seamlessly attach herself to him.
"Advice
liberally dispensed has the trait, of coming back
to haunt your own fate," Ram heard Chai-La's
words of wisdom, even felt the teacup nestle in his
hands but for once was too dejected to observe what
kind of an exit the mystical Chinese canteen boy made
this time. For the record he simply drew a thin red
line and then erupted into a spectrum of points that
strove to seek fulfillment along it.
And
then she blew.
Sunetra's
voice was unkind on the ear even when heard in passing,
but now it sounded as mellifluous as a ravenous hyena
jumping on hot coals.
"Ram,
I want you in my cubicle now, and I mean right now.
I want to do a job list meeting. Don't forget to get
a pad, pen and calculator when you come, and I don't
want to repeat that again."
Who
ever said that June 21st was the longest day?
 The
writer is Vice President, Rediffusion DY&R. He is also the patron saint of
Juhu Beach United, a football club that celebrates the 'unfit, out of breath media
professional of today'. You can write to him at (vinaykanchan@hotmail.com).
(The
views expressed here are those of the author and Indiantelevision.com need
not necessarily subscribe to the same) | 
