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The
law of credit - What might appear at first glance,
to resemble an elementary accounting principle,
is actually one of the primary laws of the advertising
industry business. Many individuals can attribute
their entire career success and tremendous economic
well being to their studious adherence to this fundamental
law. But for those who have never quite comprehended
it, life can be as thankless as the state of Indian
seamers trying to pitch it short to Shahid Afridi.
"Be
wary of who you tell what - because sometimes words
contain the most sought after treasures," the
Chinese voice whispered into Ram's ears, as he experienced
the express delivery of the tea cup and Chai-La,
the mystical Chinese canteen tea boy, made his ritualistic
'gyan in a tea cup' transaction then disintegrating
into an award trophy kept on the mantle piece.
Ram was locked in an intense discussion with Salienta,
the new copywriter from South Mumbai, as she was
called. She was doing most of the talking whilst
Ram's role was largely restricted to providing those
vital few words that kept her babbling, thus captive
at his table, proportionately increasing his social
image in the agency. Words such as
"And then?" Ram quipped in, seeing Salienta
pausing for breath, immediately switching his mind
off as she resumed, looking around while maintaining
eye contact with Salienta at the same time (from
the servicing manual - 'flirting while on the job'
section) Ram happened to notice Mumbles, the unusually
reticent art director, gingerly making his way in
their direction. Mumbles was an exceptionally quiet
person and you only got a few words out of him if
you happened to be standing on his bare toes with
your running spikes on, and that too if all other
visual forms of communication had failed.
"I want to share an idea that I've had"
murmured Mumbles, possibly having spent the entire
morning trying to select those precise words.
Salienta looked at him with resplendent scorn, she
hated being interrupted. He used to be her partner
on most assignments but she never really believed
in speaking to him on any ideas, "I'm sure
he is too basic to come up with any, let him just
spend his time executing mine and maybe he will
get somewhere' was her stand on the subject.
Ram was getting pretty bored with Salienta's monologue
he needed a breather.
"Yes, Mumbles tell me," he encouragingly
said with a smile.
Mumbles felt a warm rush of confidence run through
his veins. He spoke in precisely one sentence containing
seven words. (Given the secretive nature of big
ideas and the awards business, the editor has censored
the actual idea)
When he was done the impact of his words, even given
his embarrassingly hushed tone was deafening.
"Wow" was all that Ram could muster.
Salienta's jaw had dropped with a loud thud to the
floor attracting the attention of the President
and Vikas (Ram's boss) doing their usual rounds.
Both were striding towards Ram's workstation purposefully
when Salienta pulled herself together with the speed
of an insurance agent landing at your door moments
after you have agreed to a meeting on the phone.
"The line needs a comma in between and a full
stop at the end to create a greater impact.. That
way the reader can fully digest the message."
She told Mumbles in the same patronizing tone one
uses with a four year old.
"What's the matter? Any fire?" boomed
the President in his enthusiastically euphonious
tone, slapping Ram on the back causing him to choke
on his tea.
"Salienta do you have something for us?"
asked Vikas in his usual lecherous tone.
"Run along Mumbles get the layout and make
the changes that I have asked you to," crooned
Salienta, waving away the poor fellow to his table
to fetch the guilty layout.
"I have just hit upon this amazing idea, you
must see it, Mumbles has created the layout, I had
to virtually dictate it to him you know, but I still
want a few minor changes being the perfectionist
I am" the emphasis on 'I' was not lost on the
group. In spoken terms it was the equivalent of
bold, capital, italics and very large point size.
She then proceeded to elaborate the idea using around
seventy sentences, extolling how it would connect
with the consumer, why it was good for the brand,
what chance it had at the awards and how winning
an award would eventually help the agency.
"That's my girl, I told you this was a bright
one," boomed the President clearly pleased
that this was a very good decision that he had made.
"And we could use this creative on the Scam
and Scum Times, that way we get a dirt cheap deal
and we don't even need to involve client" added
Vikas, clearly wanting a piece of the action.
There were collective whoops of joy that resounded
in the corridors as Mumbles stumbled back with the
layout.
"I say Mumbles you should come up with stuff
like Salienta does, don't spend all you time in
just executing other peoples ideas" said the
President, cursorily glancing over the layout, "this
fellow needs to add a little more style and panache
to his work."
"Don't worry I will get a great looking ad
out of him, you owe me lunch."
"Sure I do, lets go. Tell me aren't there only
three credits for any awards entry. Who should they
be for this ad?"
"Salienta, you and me," interjected Vikas,
"We were all primarily responsible for this
happening."
The other two agreed whole-heartedly and they instantly
bonded in a 'credits' huddle inspired somewhat by
Hyenas' feasting on prey killed by the cheetah that
was subsequently driven away by the roving pack
of Hyenas.
"What about Mumbles?" asked Ram, feeling
an imploring gaze from Mumbles emanate in his direction.
All the three 'ideajackers' burst out laughing.
"Look at him, what would he say to the media?
What would he say at the acceptance speech"
analyzed Vikas.
"Besides he is only executing the idea, that's
not what creativity is about," emphasized the
President mustering enough authority to silence
the doubters.
"Well maybe he can just be all the more inspired
considering he has to work with an award winning
creative person like me every day" cooed Salienta,
gently nudged away her other two accomplices from
the scene of crime towards something infinitely
more fulfilling - Lunch.
Ram looked at Mumbles. He was in a shocked state
of silence. Much like a person who has been robbed
of both his wallet and his vocal cords at the same
time.
"Why don't you tell PP?" asked Ram, referring
to the handlebar mustached creative director of
the agency, "He is on leave but tell him when
he gets back, he is sure to take your side, he cant
stand shallow people like Vikas and Salienta"
Mumbles just shook his head.
"I can't even speak when he is around. I get
too scared." He whispered, "Besides this
is the price I have to pay for the way I am."
The look of resignation on his face spoke volumes.
He trudged back to his place to finish off the layout
The secretary of the President came up to Ram, cherubically
cheerful as usual.
"What's that girl Salienta's full name? I need
to type a promotion letter for her"
"Salienta Steal, surname sounding like Steel
as in the metal, but in her case you would spell
her surname like a verb" he instructed the
secretary with a sly smile.
Ram went back to his table to put in a requisition
for some award forms, as he was typing in his request,
his screen flickered. And some words began to form.
"Debit the creator, credit the poacher - ignore
this fundamental law of credit at your own risk"
these words materialized on his screen followed
with their Chinese translations. Ram glanced at
his hand to find a tea cup magically appear as his
speakers boomed with Chai-La's maniacal laughter
The screen then went blank.
 After
stints at Lowe, Mudra and Everest the author is
now with Triton as Associate Vice President Brand
Services. In addition to that he is also patron
saint of Juhu Beach United - a movement that celebrates
obesity and the unfit 'out of breath' media professional
of today. To join up contact vinaykanchan@hotmail.com
(The
views expressed here are those of the author and
indiantelevision.com need not necessarily subscribe
to the same)
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